Paris, Tokyo

I have found a new love for Lupe Fiasco. My brother listens to him a lot but I never got into him until I heard "I'm Beamin." If you haven't already heard this song, you should definitely take a listen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7D2JA3kCpiQ&playnext_from=TL&videos=a3dpC7npWTI&feature=rec-LGOUT-exp_fresh+div-1r-6-HM

Anyways, all this is to say that I love Lupe Fiasco and it is through "I'm Beamin" that I began consuming his music in large quantities like any addict would. Regardless, I came across a particular song that I wanted to write about because it struck a chord with me.

"Paris, Tokyo" recounts the life of a rap star (aka Lupe) and his relationship with his girl. He travels a lot but she is always on his mind and he keeps her in his heart. Very cute. If only the truth of long distance relationships was that simple, but I've been through several and let me tell you they never are.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pp2uqGLNm5k

My track record with long distance relationships isn't a good one. Relationships are hard without the added difficulty of being apart most of the time. Yet I found myself in more than one which of course begs the question: why? Why would someone go through the pain and pleasure of a long distance relationship? I guess I could say that maybe I felt like I had no other options or that my desire to be with that person far outweighed my doubts about a long distance relationship. I guess I tired because I wanted to believe that we could make it work despite the obvious obstacles.

This is just one side to this song though. To me, another part of the song resonated with me and that was about travel.

Let's go to Paris/Wake up in Tokyo/Have a dream in New Orleans/Fall in love in Chicago/Then we can land in the Motherland/Camelback across the desert sand/Take a train to Rome or home/Brazil for real...

My life has revolved around traveling for a very long time. My parents were both raised in New Jersey but as we never lived there, we were constantly traveling to get there whether it was from South Carolina where I was born, Michigan where one of my brothers was born or St. Louis where I spent most of my life. We always traveled and I have become an addict especially after a semester in South Africa. So yes, I love this song because it talks about traveling all across the world and I can't imagine anything better.

Except one thing. The love and security that one person can bring. I cannot help but think that I cannot have both. I find it hard to believe that I can travel and still maintain a relationship. That's hard. Do I have to sacrifice one for the other or is there a way I can have both? This has been a thought on my mind a lot as I try to figure out what exactly I want to do after graduation (a year from now).

But I also cannot help but think that I am going about this all wrong. Whose to say I cannot have it all? Travel and a great relationship. I reminded of a line I heard somewhere (I cannot recall where) that goes "Your playing small does not glorify Him." So me tripping over trying to pick between a relationship and travel is foolish. Mostly because it is a choice I don't have to make currently but the thoughts still haunt me. I love travel but can I really have both?

I have express my doubts, now let's look at the possibilities. While in South Africa before we lost both our resident director and teacher, those of us in SA were fortunate enough to have two great people whose passion for South Africa was absolutely intoxicating AND they were married AND had a son. They amazed me because before then and still now I cannot imagine that reality. (They were American, btw). So I guess it is a possibility so perhaps I should not worry. Whatever is meant to happen will happen. I just have to careful. Am I willing to sacrifice travel for a boy? I'm not sure about the answer to that but I know that this guy better be pretty special for me to do all that. I'm just glad as of yet I do not have to make that choice.