Hey Ladies

Why is that men can do us wrong? Why is that we just decided to keep holding on? Why is that we never seem to just have the strength to leave?

Too often I see women putting them into these situations. Bad situations. But for now, I will talk from my experience. As far as I know, I have never been in a situation where a man (or boy) has cheated on me. I am thankful for that. I cannot imagine being in that situation. But I have had situations where I should have left the relationship but I didn't. I held on, maybe because I thought things would change or maybe because I just didn't want to be alone. That's sad because I feel like I could have saved so much more time and heartache by just finding the strength to leave.

So then the question is where do you find the strength to leave, if you are in that situation (side note: this has nothing to do with something I have going on now). It can be hard, so hard to admit when a relationship has run its course especially if you have gotten to be really close friends with that person. I lost my best friend in my last relationship and that was hard to let go of. Friends can help a lot with making the decision to leave easier. If you have friends that have your back, then losing your best friend isn't as hard because you have people that can 'replace' him (though replacing someone is impossible). Also it helps to be honest with yourself. That sounds simple but I know that that has been something I have personally struggled with. If I'm honestly not happy with someone, why do I stick around? Good question. I guess it goes back to the whole loneliness thing. I don't like being alone if I can be completely honest. So I guess part of the answer is learning how to be alone. There's a line from an Indie Arie song that "sometimes I'm alone but never lonely. That's what I've come to realize"

I need to get more comfortable being alone. In truth, I am an introvert so being alone is something I do. But I have had times in my life when I am so used to being with someone that I forget how to be alone. It is a useful skill especially when it comes to a break-up. If you're ok being alone, then the break-up isn't as hard. You just have to get to that place and it may not be something that happens overnight, like most things, these things take time. So patience is key which of course is something I've always struggled with. But at least for now I have an idea on what I need to work on. I need to work on being alone but not lonely. Sounds easy enough. Now to do like Nike and just do it. What's stopping you?