Doctor Love

Dr. Love sounds like a cliché term for some really cheesy guy who tries too hard. But after dating my best friend for nearly a year and a half, I’ve found that Love really is a physician and a psychiatrist. India.Arie says it so well in “Therapy” and “He Heals Me.”

What is love? I honestly can’t think of any description better than India’s. In “Therapy,” she describes a man who cares for the woman he loves:

He lays me on the couch and says how has your day been?

Tell me your problems; I'll help you solve them.

Come on, let's talk about it. He sits next to me and smiles.

Listens to all of my words, relaxes all of my nerves.

On most days, my boyfriend would rather listen to Gang Starr than India.Arie, but I love this song because for me, these lyrics are talking about him. I have a habit of stressing out and letting small things overwhelm me. One Saturday night, I was feeling stressed after spending the entire day working on assignments and studying for an exam. I had gotten to the point where I was frustrated and depressed and tired, but I felt like I had too much work to take a break even though I desperately needed one. I was typing a paper at my boyfriend’s desk while he sat on his bed reading, and he called my name. When I turned around, he laid down his book and held out his arms for me. I went over to him, and he took me in his arms. In that moment, I felt more love for him than I had ever experienced before; it was beautiful. Without saying a word, he just held me, and it seemed like his arms were squeezing the stress out of me and replacing it with an amazing peace. He held me silently for a few minutes before I had to get back to work, but I felt completely revitalized when he let go of me. That is love.

When I feel like I'm losing power...

The way you touch me says I'm there for you.

It heals me just to hear you say, "I love you."

He's done this so many times, and I don't think he even knows how much he has helped me. This is how a man should love: he shouldn't be a source of drama like so many women experience. A real man who really loves should be a force that brings calm to a stormy day.

...."He Heals Me” is a similar song. Its words resonate within me in the same way.

I told him my biggest secret. And he told me four.
He smiled at me and said, 'That makes me love you more.'
And even when I'm wrong, he is still kind.
He chooses his words wisely when he tells me I'm not right.
And yes, he is a beautiful man.

But he is also a beautiful friend.

This man knows my faults better than anyone else in the world, even my best friends. And yet he still wants to be with me; he still loves me. It fascinates me. I think the greatest thing I have learned about love is that it is unconditional. Both of us are so young, and I don’t know what’s in store for us in the future. I do know that regardless of where we end up, I will always love him because he has taught me so much about what a man should be, and what love should be.

...He has so much compassion in his eyes.
I have no idea how long he'll be here: a season or a lifetime, forever or a year.

But for the first time in my life I'm not worried about the future

Because we have such a wonderful time when we're together.

However things turn out, it's all right cause he's already changed my life.